Life is good, so good! I also just read Jenae Brewer's blog too and I feel like her (in different ways) but the feeling of being both blessed and overwhelmed at the same time.
Life is busy between the ranch and doing two online classes. I leave for work around 8am and am usually there till 7pm. I get home just in time to do a little homework so that I can try to stay on top of it. Friday-Sunday are the days to do lots of homework, because it is all due either on Saturday or Sunday.
Yet I feel so blessed in life as well. The Lord has reminded me of the passion I have for the ranch. Sometimes, I think we all do in different ways, I get into slumps of wondering why I do what I do. What the purpose is behind it all? If life will ever change? It is during these times that I loose my passion for working at the ranch... and then it becomes just a job.
Yet lately the Lord has reminded me of just how much I love what I do. Each day I go in I am overwhelmed by my love for this ministry.
Today and tomorrow we are doing a horse clinic. This afternoon I left the ranch so excited about riding horses. *Riding horses is another passion of mine that I forget how much I truly love* Although my horse, Libby and I weren't perfect, just spending time with her brought me so much joy. I came home and couldn't help but to be joy filled.
I think what I love about riding the most is that it constantly reminds me of my walk with the Lord. Many times when I ride, or I see others ride, and I come in with an agenda. I have my plan in place of what I am going to do. I don't listen, don't pay attention to what the horse is telling me. I just saddle up (or for me just jump on bareback) and get to work. Then if my horse bucks, or is frustrated or not "obeying me" I usually do one of two things. 1 - ride them through it, force them to listen to me to submit to me. 2 - I just get off and put them back, not wanting to take the time to deal with 'their' issues.
I am always learning that I just have to take time, to practice, to wait for the horse to connect with me. I have to know how to listen, to read the horses silent body language which shares with me what they are trying to say, maybe even why they are having a sticky spot. Sometimes I need to back off what I am doing and just go back to the simple basics of spending time with the horse on the ground.
How often do I do the same thing to the Lord? I come in with my agenda, ready to do some work for His Kingdom and yet I am not truly listening to him, communicating with him and allowing him to lead. And when I don't hear from him, when I don't feel as though understand what He is saying to me, I get frustrated and leave. Instead of taking the time to wait, to be patient, to practice hearing his voice and communicating with Him. Just like the horses both sometimes need me to be quite, to wait, to set aside my agenda willing and ready to read the silent body language... and both need me to practice! Then, just like the horse, we can move, adventure and understand one another.
Wow, this blog took a different direction than I was planning. :-) But that is what I came home thinking about today. Hope it encourages each of you.
Below is something I wrote I think back in 2006 - when I was in College in Eugene. Charise and I were talking about this tonight and she told me I should place it on my blog. At first I wasn't going to do it... but as I have been writing, I feel as though it shares a piece of my heart right now. Not all of my heart, as I said I feel very blessed in all that is going on. Yet there is part of me that longs for more, that feels a storm that could overwhelm me brewing inside of me. Reading this tonight was such a good reminder to me to come to the Father. Above all else, to allow my relationship with him be the top priority in my life. I hope you enjoy.
A dance, an elegant waltz for my Creator. So magnificent that it will be eternally engraved into the essence of my soul.
Leisurely I stepped out of my car, on to a stage already in play. The music had already begun with the hushed sounds of the river that lay to the right of me. Slow black brooding clouds were starting to stretch across the sky. A stillness that was lingering was interrupted by a soft wind. Slow, gentle, russling through the trees. Almost as though a ballerina was flowing, twirling to the music, gradually as the music speeds so does her movements. Up, the lifeless, fallen leaves rise from the ground, awakened by the breath of wind. And explosion of vibrant colors: Oranges, yellows, browns engulf my surroundings. Flittering, fluttering to the music of the wind.
The melancholy clouds above, now draped, towering down over the earth, circling slowing into a whirlpool of blackness.
Than it came, the pinnacle of the play, I was now part of it. My soul trapped, being tossed by the wind. Emotions, the words of others joined dancing, mocking, nestled around me. One step, two steps, I felt the rich soil dappled in moisture between the toes of my bare feet. The coolness of the ground sent a burst of energy inside me. My pace quickened with each step, I was trying to run, fast, far away from the whirlwind amidst me. Away, away form the gossip, the noise of the city, into the creation of my Lord. Desperately searching, running, looking for something, someone to end the storm inside me.
For just a moment I heard Him, through the thunderous uproar, a gentle whisper, “Come away, My beloved. Come, run to Me…” A sensation of peace, joy came upon me. I knew in that moment, I was in the presence of the Almighty Father.
~Kelsie J. Patka 2006
Leisurely I stepped out of my car, on to a stage already in play. The music had already begun with the hushed sounds of the river that lay to the right of me. Slow black brooding clouds were starting to stretch across the sky. A stillness that was lingering was interrupted by a soft wind. Slow, gentle, russling through the trees. Almost as though a ballerina was flowing, twirling to the music, gradually as the music speeds so does her movements. Up, the lifeless, fallen leaves rise from the ground, awakened by the breath of wind. And explosion of vibrant colors: Oranges, yellows, browns engulf my surroundings. Flittering, fluttering to the music of the wind.
The melancholy clouds above, now draped, towering down over the earth, circling slowing into a whirlpool of blackness.
Than it came, the pinnacle of the play, I was now part of it. My soul trapped, being tossed by the wind. Emotions, the words of others joined dancing, mocking, nestled around me. One step, two steps, I felt the rich soil dappled in moisture between the toes of my bare feet. The coolness of the ground sent a burst of energy inside me. My pace quickened with each step, I was trying to run, fast, far away from the whirlwind amidst me. Away, away form the gossip, the noise of the city, into the creation of my Lord. Desperately searching, running, looking for something, someone to end the storm inside me.
For just a moment I heard Him, through the thunderous uproar, a gentle whisper, “Come away, My beloved. Come, run to Me…” A sensation of peace, joy came upon me. I knew in that moment, I was in the presence of the Almighty Father.
~Kelsie J. Patka 2006
You are a overwhelming blessing, and I'm sooooo stinkin' proud of YOU yes I am. I'm so proud of the work you do in the ministry you are in, and that you are such a Jesus loving freak. Keep it up my dear.
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